Ever get that feeling

Lately friends seem like foes. Its funny how your so called friends will turn on you so quick for certain things including money. I have been getting some bad karma lately, I dont know maybe its just me but I can tell when im not liked by someone, I really dont care haha I just get that feeling when people are sending bad vibes or something. You guys think im crazy right? heh . Has anyone out there gotten bad vibes on the spot or from an aquaintence? Let me know whats up fellow stoners.

(Edited by KingMarijuana at 5:06 pm on Oct. 6, 2003)

 

I know exactly what your talkin about man,i can pick up on those vibes easily. Best thing to say is **** em and dont care what they think of you even if they are your friends and if they're shallow fucks and turning on you because you dont have any smoke or money then they're not real friends and only users so give less and take more. Its stupid but some ppl i know who share things get taken advantage of and dont get much respect,like its a weakness or summit, but the ppl who are hairy and stinjy get more respect,wtfs that about? Guess they just need to grow up.

 

Yup...I get 'um too. That's why I don't like large crowds too much....so much bad mojo makes me wanna get the hell out in a hurry! Always go with your gut feeling.


Marty Hairy people get more respect?

 

Hail King Herby


Nah over here we say hairy for someone who is tight or miserable

 

Well man I can tell you this. I have been known as a good friend, and a jekyll/hyde person myself. I just get really pissed off about small problems that are nothing. I know that before I have the whole story, or the entire factsheet, I usually jump to conclusions usually making a fool out of nobody but myself. My words of wisdom for the type of people youre talking about would be not to be so worried about negativity and how you can stab someone in the back for something they might not even have any control over. The reason Im directing this towards the other side of the subject youre talking about is because I am basically the guy you are talking about. Im a good friend to alot of people and alot of people trust me. But when I get mad I sometimes take drastic measures to ensure they "pay" for thier actions. Its fuckin dumb to live like that. I'll proably die alot younger because of it too. But For along time I felt I couldnt help it. I just wanted to lash out at someone for my own fucked up life and problems were eating me alive. I needed something, and dont know if i found it yet, but true to my form, I have at least recognized thier is a problem. The first step in solving it and making it better. Cynicism and negativity will only lead to your friends distrusting you, and a big issue is alive that shouldnt be. We should be worried about living, and growing. Not focusing on the negative. I hurt my own feelings by being an ******* more than anyone else could by being an ******* to me. Moral: Dont worry about those whom arent the standard, because deep down, im sure they recognize (or unless they are an idiot) that they are and have the problem, not you. Ive given off alot of good kharma. Then again, ive given off alot of negativity by running my mouth to people I befriended and pissing people off. In the end, who is better for it right now? They are. Because I am the dumbass for even addressing such a minute problem. The world is big, and small at the same time. Much like life is short as it is long. However you look at it. Have fun, because one day you wont be able to enjoy **** like you do today. I should have taken my own advice long ago. Im not looking for redemption really. But just a realization that I am not a complete fuckin *******, but rather a misguided, misunderstood dude just like you whom just flips too often about stupid ****. Not trying to sugarcoat my ****, but inside I know how i feel, and i know what the deal is. I just ignore the "good" and go with the bad when It feels like im going out of control. I ultimately am responsible for my own actions. but sometimes i feel i have no control over what i say and do. Then I get all baked, read between the lines, and say "Who the **** is this ******* giving all this bad kharma off" Its especially fucked when you have a good base of friends whom stress the kharma factor to you and you just fail to realize and recognize. Truly sad. But not everyone is the same. SOme people are totally different. And i dont believe that just because i go off alot and say **** that I later regret means Im any less of a friend, or anything like that, just that I deal with **** on a totally different level and process thought differently. I just have a taste of everything, balled into one. Its the balancing act of life. In life, two negatives do not equal a positive. I hope somehow, you can also read between the lines, and understand this note. Try and get inside thier heads before making a split decision. Try and understand if its blatant stupidity, or perhaps something bigger before making split decision judgements. I should once again, take my own advice huh?


Agrow

 

Wow, thanks everyone you have made me think and feel better yes. Agrow man that is deep, I understand where you are comming from because I too lash out before thinking of the future of people i might hurt. I try to be a good person at heart and when people abuse that personality it just gets older and older man. I just want to be me, get the respect a regular human deserves. I feel I am noone special but I do feel I have a purpose in life which is to find the true me. People around here take advantage of you thinking its ok it wont bother him, wrong it does. It makes me think people just like me because I smoke them out or help them if needed. I know who my brothers and sisters are. It feels good to be able to let all of this out sometimes, especially when people know what you are talking about hehe. thanks everyone for the responses you are all great people .

 

Sup AG

 

yo marty! im doing ok lot better when i get some smoke in the lungs


keep living life guys! Yeah king, alot of subjects I can relate to. Alot I cannot but try, this is one of the genuine ones that I can definitely say my piece and possibly get across positively in

 

I can relate...i have a bad habbit of blowin off at the mouth and pushin ppl away when all i want to do is bring em closer, especially men, then when they get pissed and wont talk 2 me, i get even more pissed off because i have no one to be pissed off at except myself Like u said agrow, the 1st step is recognizin it, so hopefully we can get it under control, peace

 

This is my story. I have much the same problem as King. I am basically a good person. I can make this statement based on the fact that I have dedicated my life to helping those in need. When people are most vulnerable, the sick and dying. I have no trouble dealing with people in this way. I believe this is because when people are in this vulnerable state, either they lack the desire or the energy to **** with me. However, in normal day to day living, I cannot tolerate most people. For some reason if you are kind and generous with people the vast majority of them do not take this as a kind act, but rather as a sign of weakness. I think that they feel they got a sucker to take advantage of. I am far from weak. Quite the contrary, I am extremely strong. It is my strength that allows me to be kind. But for some reason some people take this as a sign that I am dim witted and weak, so they usually resort to some kind of passive aggressive act to undermine me, thinking that I am too dim to see through this. Of course this pisses me off. Consequently, I have been forced to cut ties with all friends, family and any other assholes that do not fit into the previous two categories. I spend virtually all of my time alone. I even unplug my phone and use it to make outgoing calls only. You might think this would make me feel lonely and isolated, but it does not. I feel so much better since I no longer have to deal with these psychic vampires. I feel so much more energy. My thoughts are more clear, I no longer feel depressed for the first time in my life. I really do not know where all of this will lead me. Perhaps someday I can make a connection. I do not know. But for right now this is my fate. If it is this way for the rest of my life I can accept this and have come to terms with it. I can honestly say that this is the happiest I have ever been.


(Edited by Tyler Durden at 9:15 pm on Oct. 8, 2003)

 

totally cool! see i would totally be the same way except im the opposite. I feel weak, and therefore I long to be strong. I feel trapped, but trapped to me = safety. Safe from what? I have no idea. Could be social anxiety, but Im like you tyler, I dont like putting up with peoples ****. Just when I think Ive got it figured out, boom.

 

It sounds lonely 2 me tyler, but thats me, what works for one doesnt work for another...as long as your happy thats what matters most, and i am happy 4 u to have found something that works for you! toke on

 

Thanks for the kind words. Most likely you would hate me if you met me on the street. I am arrogant and aloof to all but my patients. Frequently confrontational and quarrelsome. I do this because it is the only way to protect myself. If people could see the real me, the kind and generous side, I would be dead in the water.

 

Not true, Tyler. We believe in this day and age that we need to have the outward appearance of angst and darkness, while most of us desire compassion, patience and understanding on the inside.


When it comes to protecting yourself try being open to the situations life presents to you instead of closed; ie: "confrontational and quarrelsome." Perhaps learning some self defense would give you some security and charisma. If you've surrounded yourself with people who don't respect your "kind and generous side" you should ask yourself why you've chosen their company. Allowing others to see the real you feels vulnerable, but hiding behind a facade leaves you open to more deadly attacks. Better to be honest IMHO.


(Edited by llIndigoll at 10:04 pm on Oct. 6, 2003)

 

There is much validity in what you say. Security is not an issue I am a physically imposing individual. I have much charisma and animal magnetism. And as you point out, why would I want people who cannot accept my good side as friends? That is exactly the argument that I pose here. I do not.


(Edited by Tyler Durden at 9:02 am on Oct. 7, 2003)

 

I spent many years with a similar attitude as Tyler, King, Agrow (what's up Dude?)..... & All I can say is never again. I hid my kindness because others were definitely taking advantage of me & felt that I was an easy mark. Well to some extent, I was. But I was having trouble meeting other people (with similar values)and became introverted to avoid the whole situation. What a lonely existence that was for me. I had to learn that if it is truly in my heart to give and do, then I must do it -ignoring sometimes who I'm doing this for (or how I perceive this person). I had to learn to be myself around the wolves & let them know what I would (or would not) do for them. You won't beleive the number of other good folk I've met during this process! I have a solid core of friends that I can count on, as they count on me. That's not to say sometimes friends do put out bad karma (or piss you off)... but as their friend, I'll let them know I'm feeling the negative vibes, just as they do when I slip up & emit bad karma.


I involve myself in many different activities now that involve helping others. I do many things for my friends (most times at no cost)as well as complete strangers. I do it because it's in my heart to give and do-not because of my perception of the person requesting something. I have no problem telling someone that I get "bad Karma" from that I will not help them & most times I will honestly explain why. But my point is this..... If you met someone that acts like you (tough,arrogant, quick to judge), would you think they were really good on the inside? How would you know?


If you're as good as you say you are stand tall and be yourself.......The wolves will even learn to respect you in due time....


On a side note, there are a few members of this site who have helped me above and beyond the call and even shared a few beans with me.... wanting nothing in return (but to "pay it forward"). I can't explain why, but I am grateful-THANK YOU. And the same way they lifted me up (when I sometimes question my growing skills), I'll do for some other newbie when I develop my "peak" growing rythym. Good luck to you all & good growing.


RacerX

 

king marijuana is da bomb


yes bad karma, as a person who smokes weed u tend to suss people out especially when you meet some1 new when your stoned. for me its 4 questions


1. sex = self explanitry <unless she man thing going on>


2. age = u can narrow it down easy


3 job = i work at the " "


4 fun= is this person a fun person are they bubbley or keep to themselfs. striaght edge? drugie? gambler?stoner!


<you work this out in ya head not out loud>


i have meet many anti stoners purly because they havent tryed weed before or never will, i am diffrent, like these people my mother was one of these till she caught me high 1 day with my room smoked out, she couldnt understand if i had just used the drug why wasnt i bonkers why was i able to maintain a perfectly logical conversation,,


many straight edge people will see the stoners smoking there joints and think druggies but the pure truth is i am not a druggie


in my life i have been offered acid extacy datura speed


mexcan trip weed , i have friends that use these drugs everyweekend for me i enjoy drinking beer and smoking weed though hotknifes and thats how its gunna stay..


you may not want to purchase munchies stoned with heeps of change but karma says that the shop owner makes profit a stoned transtacttion bang, out the door they make money win win,, the best thing to do it have a conversation with a anti because if you can agree on 1 point what ever it is thats the groundwork for more stimulating conversation,


my friend once said to me when your high you just think people are looking at you in fact he was right people are concernd with themselfs not you be high be happy and if bad karma enters a situation then change it or leave..

 

1 last thing, sorry to hear how you feel,


but mankind in the past present and future will allways be corrupted by money. money is the downfall of society


and will destroy mankind in the future,, people change , people can just snap like plastic rulers,


for every acti0on there is an = reaction


peace

 

Well said Racer. Agrow.......you know my story better than most and all I can say is it took me nearly killing another person to open my eyes. Anger is a strong emotion that helps buffer us from pain and vulnerability, but it is hard to control. I still battle every day with it.One must learn to be 'strong' and not 'hard' when it comes to dealing with others. There are still some people that can set me off though. That's when I have to remember the road anger leads me to. In the end I can only fix myself.... those others have to do the same in their own lives. The point is to be the best person we can be....the rest follows in the wake.

 

You people are so cool. Do any of you people realize how much fucking money I would have to spend to get this kind of constructive feedback? I have been to psycholgists and psychiatrists and all of them sucked ass. They did not understand me at all. I thank you all. Racer, you are absolutely correct in everything you said. You advocate taking the high road and just being yourself regardless of who you are dealing with. You are a very healthy person. Unfortunately, I am not. You ask if I would like a person like me, tough acting and aloof. The answer is yes, these are my favorite people. Why? you might ask. That is because I know that 99.9% of the time it is a front just like me. Most likely they have been burned many times and feel they have to distance themselves. My situation is a little different. I am what is called a schizoid personality. You can look it up on the net there is a lot of information regarding the condition. Now before I say this I want you to know that I am not looking for sympathy. I am just stating fact as it was presented to me and I really do not feel sad about it. Schizoid personality is usually caused by trauma in the very early stages of life. Usually in infancy. In my case it was at birth. I did not know this until I was about twenty eight. What happened was my wife at the time was complaining to my grandmother about my aloof and distant personality. My grandmother I believe, feared that she would die soon and decided to tell the truth. And that was that my mother hated me when I was born. She apparently never wanted male children. Consequently, She refused to touch or feed me. At home my grandmother said she totally ignored me and refused to feed me. My grandmother came over everyday to feed me because she was afraid I would starve to death. It was only upon the threat of action by the authorities that she started feeding me. As a result my growth was very stunted and that is what prompted me to start lifting weights later on. I say that I have no soul, this is what I believe. I do not think that there is a spiritual soul in the classic sense but rather the soul your mother gives you at birth with the first human contact. It is the force that binds us all together as human beings. I have always felt like a marked man. Like people could look into my eyes and see that I am not a member of the family. Hence, my referrence to myself as The Beast. Because animals have no soul.


(Edited by Tyler Durden at 9:59 pm on Oct. 7, 2003)