15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time: 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares .... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" ( And; last, but not least!) 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
#1 reminds me of a trip my sister and I took with Mom to Kmart about 2-3 years ago. Keep in mind that moms memory is bad...i dont know if she had a little stroke or something but her memory for simple and small things is shotout. Anyway,We kept dropping weird stuff in her cart when she wasnt looking. She kept taking them back out and kinda laughing a little until we had her totally confused and by the time we got to the register, she didnt remember what half the items in her cart were hers or mystery items. Shouldnt mess with mom...her memory has slipped ALOT the past few years...but its still kinda fun to laugh about
My favorite: Pick up a phone somewhere in the store and hit the intercom button, then say, "Attention wal-mart shoppers, you can all go to hell."
ATTENTION WAL=MART Shoppers .. Todays Blue Light Special is : BLow Jobs .. Mop up , Mop up in Isle 4 .
i once walked into a 7/11 that was a front for a Whore House . i asked for a Big Gulp . & the Clerk said it was 25$ so i asked him ,, how much for a Sluprie !? 15$ was his reply ..
