A day in the life...

The day starts normal as ever, collect a few payments, post a low rent bond or two. Nothing big going on until a referral to another god forsaken corner comes in. Some fuktard has gotten hisself in sideways with a rural county sheriff. Violated his parole so has a few bonds to cover which means excessive fees on my end which means my commission goes up. YAY Res!


Always on the hustle a couple hour drive is nothing so I pile into my new/used neon green econo VW Beetle instead of the gas guzzling 70’s 4x4 hotrod and go for the cash. Fuckin’ CD player broke so it’s whatever I can pick up the on the radio. Yeah, I’m too cheap to buy the satellite shit. Farm reports, country and soul crushing 80’s rock that eventually erodes away with the few remaining buildings until I’m left with fields of corn and the 80’s rock. Oh, and this handy fattie of Trainwreck that shall make it all seem interesting.


Smoke the doob, open the sunroof, ignore the shitty music and watch the cows go by.


Never get to actually meet the bad guy and it’s not my habit to wait once the paperwork clears so I jam on out to get the next bond waiting in the cities. Just after I pull onto the lumpy ribbon of blacktop that the locals call a highway and burn the final roach of Trainwreck my cel goes off. The cat needs a ride to the cities, he’s stuck and I’m his only option. Fuck it! He’s a referral from a solid client so I go back to pick the guy up.


When we leave the jail and get to the car my new passenger (a true badass who just finished 8 years hard time and is on parole) takes a long look at me in my typical jeans, work boots, black bondsman shirt and biker vest then looks at the clown car…..a few times….then folds his black 6’5” 280+ pound frame into the minuscule spot that serves as a passenger seat. Not much is said for a loooong time.


Finally when we’re tootling along the blacktop I open the sunroof and click on the stereo. John ‘faggot’ Cougar Mellencamp. It’s all there is. “Little ditty 'bout Jack and DiaaAAAaane……”


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is echoing like a perverse embarrassing taunt in my Trainwrecked skull. My passenger takes another long look at me then settles in with a dejected sigh of resignation to the next two hours.


I could never look more gay, more white or more suburban badass wannabe than I did at that precise moment in my life.


“I hate that fucker” I finally offer. “CD players broken”.


“Oh”.


One last desperate attempt at dignity caused my finger to stab futilely at the CD button on the dash. It mocked my efforts by staying on the same station now offering up a dandy Seals and Crofts number. “Summer breeze, makes me feel fine. Blowing like the Jasmine…..”


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FUCK fuck fuck fuck! Then….suddenly…as if by magic …….a jam by Carlos Santana and Buddy Guy entered mid riff. It works! THE CD PLAYER FUCKIN-A WORKS! Now I’m just a fucker driving a gay car looking all suburban badass…BUT…I have cool music, a good stone on and a sunroof.


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don't know what to say about that :roffl:

 

Zactly!

 

Nothing special. Lotta miles went down in the old Jeep today, top and doors off so open air and solid tunes as cornfields blew past. 85 and sunny with a fat old stoner grooving to where it all began.


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Shit can the week. Sometimes it costs you money to have a job.


Put a new stereo in the Jeep and let it go with a thick double paper Lemonberry





and some Steely Dan to set a groove.


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Cows are looking cool. Why do they always look at you? Rain grooves suck with big tires.





Burn some of this with good friends and some smooth Pink Floyd Echos Live at Pompeii (in what I put forth as their best jam of all time) Watching a few Harley guys burn past me on the way home.





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Just got a booty call! :boobs::redbong: Just a quick drive and time to burn a fattie. Open air, cam loping nicely on a fresh tune. Little Spill the Wine....


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It comes along so rarely at our age I was kinda proud.