My daughter which is turning 21 is moving a long way away this weekend.WE are giving her a going away-birthday party tonight. I'm very proud of her and love her very much. She graduated Art school in Dec. and got her assoc. degree. Now she is moving way far away to another school to get her Bachelor's Degree. She is the apple of my eye. I'm going to miss her so much and it makes me sad to think that she want be 15 minutes away anymore. Although i'm sad, i couldn't be more happy for her for following her dreams and getting her education. Ya see, she has this dream of being an artist for Walt Disney. My family used to be in the Easter Basket business and had the Disney License for them. She kind of grew up with them. Well, she is on her way to achiving her dream. She turns 21 in 2 weeks and want be here. That sucks. It's alot harder being a parent than most people think. Raising your kids, watching them make mistakes, being sick,broken hearts, broken dreams and all the other bullshit that goes along with having kids. Then comes the pay off. Watching them make it in life and being happy, accomplishing there dreams and goals. Going through life making you proud of them in every way. It's not easy. Don't think it is for even a moment. It's even harder to watch them leave, even though it's all apart of there dream. This is a very happy-sad- emotional time for Greenkitty. One minute there is a happy smile and the next, a tear. Look what some of you have to look forward to. Thanx for listening
I think it will be a joy more than a sad situation when my "future kids" will go off to do whatever. Well, it quite possibly could be sad. See, my kids would probably be more likely to graduate from barber college in prison rather than from an art school with an associates in the end. LOL. jk, yeah i can see what you mean. I never "went off" to college. The **** was right here so it wasnt tough for my parents. Or wait, they didnt give a **** anyhow either. I guess im fucked. Nevermind. Hahaha.
i've been in the same position as you, GK, so i know how hard a 'process' it is. you will be sad but not for too long. pretty soon, she'll be doing stuff at school and calling you to tell you all about it. you'll be very, very proud of her and the sadness will turn to happiness for her. i guarantee it!
dude greenkitty, i'll be 21 in several months maybe i can provide insight i've been at school for a couple years now, and let me tell you i love my parents and their support for me, even though i am far away. Going home to see them is always a blast, and i'm not sure if i even have any friends back home, cause when i go home, i go HOME. I had to grow up and get out on my own before i saw the unconditional love radiating from my folks. I have regretted the way i smoked out constantly behind my parents back as a teenager, cause i see they just want to help me be happy with out herb. That may sound cheesy, but its how i feel. My mom finally let her hair grow out gray after we kids peaced out. I think after you daughter's gone and you realize that shes gonna kick the worlds ass on her own, your going to enjoy a nice relaxed life without kids. it'll be back to the drawing board with the mrs. for how to spend the weekends. or maybe that spare bedroom could see some lights?!? (jk) (Edited by smotpoker at 11:10 am on Feb. 25, 2005)
Thats killer that your that close to your girl GK. I admire that. Family is always most important. It will be a sad day that I turn my lil girl free to spread her wings. But a necessary day.
Sounds excellent.. Empty nest? Hang in there. Bet she is a wonderful young woman. You sound like a wonderful parent. Randy
Understandable GK. Sounds like she has a a good head on her shoulders. Willing to bet she'll make you proud. Helped raise my wifes children from a very young age so theyre like kids to me(not blood but I love them ALOT). When our daughter went away to Korea(she joined the military and is now an operating room tech). It was rough for the both of us. Know how much I love my step children and grandbaby can only imagine how it must feel being a blood parent going through the same thing. Hang in there.
I can't imagine..Our 2 girls are 13 and the 2 boys are 7 and almost 6....Our one daughter wants to move to Paris when she's old enough, to be a model...I'm really trying to talk her out of it...tellin her that her looks will only get her so far, and she better have a brain to back it up...:LOL: Very pretty, not a doubt in my mind that she can do it, but it's not a career...Our 7 year old son wants to be a 'car pimper' like X-Zibit.. and said he'd pimp out our Mountaineer for us, for free... You must be so proud of her that she's making the right decisions with her life though, huh? That's awesome, especially with all the fucked up minds that are in society now...Best wishes to her, and to motavated youth!!!
GreenKitty I can only imagine how tough this is for you being a mom myself. I think letting go is always hard for a parent but we have to know we instilled good morals and values for them to make the right decisions in life and make their way in the world. Sounds as though you were a great role model/parent to your lovely daughter & it seems all your hard work paid off. A college graduate with a bright future....she sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders and that is a reflection of you dad! I have 2 lil ones "girls" and I could totally relate to all you said about raising them....taking care of them when ill and also picking them up when they fall or make mistakes. We pour all our knowledge and wisdom into them and try to shape them into kind human beings who know right from wrong...and in the end we pray they listened to us lecture or babble all those years! :LOL: I am fortunate so far as my girls are real sweethearts...both honor students with looks and brains and most of all they have heart & soul which is one thing I made sure of. I think the one thing I wanted the most from them was that they were kind to both ppl and animals. I do not tolerate any prejudism or negative behaviors and if I ever caught them pokin fun at anyone less fortunate...well they would be grounded. So far I have be lucky and they have compassion for all...that is what makes me know I am doing a good job as a mom. I raised them on my own for quite some time since my divorce and I tell ya.....it wasnt easy but it made me and "us" stronger for it. I have a open relationship with them & they know they can come to me for anything. After having such a strict irish catholic mom....well I wanted differ for my own kids. My oldest wants to be a Nurse and the lil one a Vet. I tell them...just focus on your goals and you will make it. Never settle or have regrets in life is all. So for you to share your story...well it warms my heart to see a child fulfill her dreams....you must be so proud! My heart goes out to you my frd for having to let go(as I know I would be crying as well) & I know it must be the hardest thing we do as a parent to say goodbye & hope life treats them good. Not to mention the void of not having them around us daily....but look at it this way. It is your time to have fun in life and for her to make you even proud for being such a loving parent. As for me...I still have dating and all the other worries to look forward too. Any wise tips? Green & your sweet daughter....may all her dreams come true in life!
Thank you for all of your kind words and support. Today we go to pack the moving truck and then will be the time to say good bye and good luck. This is one of the hardest things i've had to do besides buriing my father last year. After the party last night and everyone left or passed out(i did say party) We sat and had a couple hour talk about everything. The hard times of my divorce from her mother to our relationship to her engagement that she just dropped on me. Talk about emotions. Wow how things change in a hurry. Just one more step in the process of letting go. Raising them is hard and letting go is even harder. Well, time to go do the deed and see my baby off to start her whole new life. Hope i can keep it togather. Wish me luck. GK
about 10 years ago, during a sappy moment, I was expressing to my mother my appreciation for the fundamental necessities both of my parents instilled in the 6 of us siblings. Raising 6 kids isnt easy. Especially on a farm. They taught us so many different things, instilling good values and a strong work ethic, money management , an appreciation of community, the elderly, generosity with the disadvantaged and all the pros and cons of family, teaching us how to use basic tools, cook, sew, start a fire, put out a fire..essentials ya know. So, in this conversation, I asked my mother if she was disapointed in the fact that I had never finished nursing school (she was a RN). She said she had never WISHED I was a nurse or anything specific other than happy. She said she would have no regret and could be at peace knowing she had taught us the STP of Self, and that if we followed them, she knew I would always be ok. What is the STP of self you ask??? (I did too) you have been taught to... S- Stand up for your self T- Take care of your self P- Provide for your self So if you gave your daughter those lessons, and she has your love and support behind her while she gets a little taste of young adult life, God Bless her. I know it was a whole new world when I went off to college. Its the time in her life where she will develop most of her interests, memorable moments, romances and friendships of her whole life. And hell, even if she gets her nipples pierced and a huge Flava Flave tattoo in the middle of her back...she's always gonna be your little girl. Trust me. Ive grown to respect and admire my father much more as an adult than i ever did as a teen. Be glad that she has drive and isnt content to lay at home on your couch all day with no job or life direction in sight.YOu should be proud of yourself too for giving her that foundation. Not bad for a pot head!!! Hell, I wanna go with her now
Hola, Compadres! My babyest girl just turned 33. Her dad skipped out on the first 13 years(his tragic mistake). I sought jobs and classes where well behaved kids were welcome, or so they timed around her day. I felt it was really important that we get to spend time together when we could both keep both eyes open at the same time...She is so smart! When she was 6 she could help new students get started in the lab, and advise on field decisions for 'keepers/tossers'. This was actually easier than it sounds, because she knew that, when in doubt, keep it. So incredible to watch my engaging little darling chatting away explaining that "it would get sorted out properly in the lab. And not to feel bad, because Momma says there are no stupid questions in school, only stupid mistakes." Shortly after we lost my dad(her Bopbop) it came time for her to go off to college...that empty nest was like a millstone. I ended up moving to her college town and starting a business. Then I got sick. She visited me daily in hospital while acing her midterms. From the convalescent home she would pick me up and take me with her to the campus, park me at the library, have some lunch, and be able to use the Diamond Lane on top of it all! Then she left again to go to University! And as soon as I could basicly care for myself, she moved out of the dorm and got us an apartment together. So brave! I got to be her full time Mom for the first time since she was 3. I got to be there when she fell in love, and earned her degree in International Relations. She speaks English, German, French, and Spanish, with a smattering of Japanese and a dash of Viet Namese. When she got married, I at first felt a renewed sense of loss. But my Son-in-law is the best! I did not lose anything...I gained immeasurably. When I stood and gazed at my newborn, I was awed at the miracle of her perfection, but very mindful that, were I to recieve what I deserved, she would likely turn out to be a Supreme Practical Joke. Instead, she has kept me continually connected to the joy of living, the excitement of discovery, the beauty in simplicity. GreenKitty, make sure she has a paid-up calling card,(cell phones, such a blessing, but not always reliable) a batch of SASE for home, a loud whistle on a neckchain, an open invitation to come home. Keep it 'her room' for a while. If she knows she can come home anytime, she may never need to. You can 'let go' of your baby without actually cutting any apron strings. Don't say Adios, say Hasta Luego, m'ija, Vaya con dios...
Thanx for all of your replies and support. Well they left yesterday morning at 6 and got there at 10 oclock last night. She moved to Ft.Lauderdale Fla. That kind of worries me a little. It can be pretty ruff down there these days. Her fiancee which moved with her and is attending the same school has family there and used to live there so that makes it a little easier. I knew this time would come someday and tried to prepare for it and prepare her. We had a big fight last year and she moved out. I felt real bad about it but knew it was time for her to start growing some wings. We helped her out and gave her what she needed to set up an apartment. She got a job and a room mate and carried on. She graduated with honors. Durring this time her roomy decided to bale out on her. She came to me to talk about it. I told her that her room was hers if she had to but thought she needed to try and make it on her own and that i wouldn't let her fall on her face. Also that she wasn't going to be able to run home to daddy when she moved away. It will be only you there that you can count on. Well, she came and thanked me before she left for making her do it on her own. Said she felt more prepared for it because of it. That made all that pain go away. She told alot of things about how lucky she was to have a dad like me and how much she loved and was going to miss me. Somehow this made all of the heart aches of raising kids turn into the joys of raising our children. I hope this helps some of the younger ones on here with children understand that sometimes being hard is what it takes to have productive-well behaved-responsible adult children. We as parents have a responsibilty to our children to instill these values as they grow into adults. It will be well worth it in the end.
