Down here in the south we have first hand knowledge. You Know You're A Redneck When... 2002 Edition > > > > You take your dog for a walk and you both use the > same tree. > > > > You can entertain yourself for more than an hour > with a fly-swatter. > > > > Your property has been mistaken for a recycling > center. > > > > Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. > > > > You burn your yard rather than mow it. > > > > You think the Nutcracker is something you did off > the high dive. > > > > The Salvation Army declines your mattress. > > > > You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. > > > > Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list. > > > > You think a subdivision is part of a math problem. > > > > You've been involved in a custody fight over a > hunting dog. > > > > Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell. > > > > You know how many bales of hay your car will hold. > > > > You have a rag for a gas cap. > > > > Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick > during Christmas dinner. > > > > Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck > does. > > > > You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms > so clean. > > > > You can spit without opening your mouth. > > > > You consider your license plate personalized because > your father made it. > > > > Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand or a > bait shop. > > > > You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all > say Cool Whip on the > > side. > > > > Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV. > > > > You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler. > > > > You've used your ironing board as a buffet table. > > > > You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of > K-Mart. > > > > A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 > worth of > improvement. > > > > You've asked the preacher "How's it hangin'?" > > > > You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury > duty. > > > > You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
ABSOLUTELY FUNTASTIC MAN!!!!!! I love redneck jokes better than any others! keep em comin dude!! **** like this is a big reason i love this site sooooooooo much!!!
