shit dude, I'd be dead or in prison if it wasn't for my wife. i may be the provider now, but believe me she was the voice of reason along the way. really all I use to do is fight and deal drugs, it took her calming me down to get were i am. behind every great man is a great woman, some truth to that. Give and take you know. things have a way of working out for those who want to better themselves, just don't stop trying and make it work, it's all you, me, or anyone can do. yea and you can't wish or pray your issues away, make it happen or it will not. never give up
Giving up is wishing or praying and not trying. Letting go is knowing there is pain but choosing not to suffer.
Let's just say we have a difference of opinions. You can let go of your pain, and it may work for you. I embrace my pain and learn from it.
Dude that's bullshit, as long as you're continue to try and don't just give up and sit on your ass while your life circles the drain then you 're NOT failing your family. By bullshit I don't mean that you feeling that way is bullshit only that you haven't failed. Sometimes when I get stuck in a rut it takes a good jerk of the wheel to get me back on track. I do understand your frustration and wish you the best at landing a job that will allow you to make ends meet.
I get what you're saying. Still doesn't take away from the hurt of letting your family down. Guys I didn't post my problems to get sympathy or anything like that. I posted to show that no matter how bad it seems, there's always someone who's got it worse. Like nip said, you gotta keep your head up and keep pushing.
yea I just learned on FB an old friend is dying. I was bitching about kids medicine no longer being covered cause of our new health plan at work. Dude chimes in trying to cheer me up and then puts it out there....felt like an ass, but he understood and knew I was mad because I seen it as someone hurting my son, in my mind I'm thinking fuck....my kid can't eat anymore because of my new Obamacare friendly plan.....like somehow it's directly my fault that my insurance no longer covers his script. I still kinda feel that way, we found a way around it (no help from insurance) but don't beat yourself up over that shit, I do the same. Shows you actually care....like I said, shit works out to those that keep at it. You only fail the day you stop trying. As far as pain, learn your lessons from that shit, makes you a better person. But don't hold on to it, you don't have to miserable to show your feelings. just my outlook on life, like you said shit can always be worse. But you've never failed in life until you stop giving a fuck. Then you have no meaning for life.....who wants shades of gray blah their whole life....gimme some color too....good, bad, it happens, but it makes life worth living. Only the dead don't feel. I think all us dads know what you are going through....no sympathy here, just respect because I can relate to you
Thanks bro, it does help. Life gets tough, but I grew up knowing I was in for a tough one from the git go. Like I said, it is what it is. If I end up losing this house, I'll find another one. I refuse to live on the street again. I didn't have a choice then, I do now.
As one of the resident old farts , I will chime in with my two pesos worth. I identify with most of the worries and stresses you guys are talking about. Had em all, especially about failing your wife and kids. Fear of failure has been one of the big fights of my life. Stress out the ass at times to the point of not being able to sleep unless i had several shots of Tequila in me. There is a saying that "worry is pain suffered for something that hasn't happened ". makes perfect sense, right ? I try and keep that mind set but it sneaks up on me. I think about my kids - all grown and out on their own- and hope they have happy, successful lives. Then, i think about how the world seems to be going to hell and here comes the worry. CC-- That cabin in the woods is something to strive for. We are 5 miles outside of a one stoplight town . the forest is a peaceful place. Hang in there , guys. There is light at the end of the tunnel and it doesn't necessarily mean it's a fucking train. BBT
Well said you old fart BB...lol....Ive been looking for a large amount of land for the past 2 years, just haven't been able to pull the trigger yet, in due time tho..West V is an uber simple place to live, no income tax, no state tax, lax laws and a 1 cop to every 5,000 people kinda place Jugg, I feel your problems man, in a very sincere way...I lost my first house when I was 23, got it when I was 19 cuz I thought I was king shit with my job at the time. Had my vehicle repo'd, I basically had a meltdown and shut down everything except going to work...watched all my dreams fall to the side.......then thru the coarse of life, I met my lady who took me from ashy to classy, atleast in my mindset....then came the kids, which tweaked my thoughts/future and she worked on rebuilding my credit for me...which built my appreciation for all the hours I was working, all I did was work and make cash, hustled, bleeding from my hands weekly...blahblahblah........All I can say as MY advice is to just keep working, no matter where it is or how you get that money, be street smart about it all and push any button you need to-to get where you want to be. But don't ever stop looking forward and never stop dreaming of what you want or you want for your family, that's what drives every one of us Resin....why you so low man? You've always seemed so wise to life and its cruelties
Nice to hear I'm not alone, kind of. Jug...you'll not quit because it's simply not an option anymore. LL, I understand where you speak. Personal pain is simply a matter of letting the temporary wash over, change will come as it always does. Pain in our children is one where finding the Zen of the moment is almost impossible (at least for me). CC...got an adult daughter bent on self destruction. No good choices to be made. Let her be and it's quite possible I'll lose her forever. Fix her consequences and I'm only enabling her demise because the behavior doesn't change. Be tough and I push her closer to what is destroying her. It seems I love her more than she loves herself.....can't even imagine what a horrible existence that is for her. Waiting to hopefully pick up the pieces of what was once my beautiful girl is the only option. So howling at the moon is the extent of what can be done, for now.
I got a call from a South Florida (near Miami) detective a few years ago, asking if I knew a woman by the name of...... Which was my mother, she lived as fast as possible, full throttle and died with a junkie, like a junkie and 6 different drugs in her system. I called around to a side of the family in which I hated for just this reason.....nobody gave a shit, they all said they knew it was going to happen at some point. Well, the only Mother I ever knew is now on my mantle, in a box. When I finally tracked down her father, my grandfather whom I never knew or talked to, at the age of 72, he could've cared less....in figurative terms, all I ever knew of her life, is that in the long run she cost me $1500 to creamate and ship her Pretty shitty but that's who some Dads are out there Im sure that's not relevant to you or your story but that's why and how I father my kids the way I do
Hey who you calling a pot grower!!?? :eusa_eh: A parent is only as happy as his unhappiest child. And the universal pastime of youth is wasting it and torturing those who care about them. I know I did my share. You know what keeps me going while I wallow through the muck of everyday life, which ain't all that pleasant sometimes? A vision of a glorious future, and the perhaps foolish but unwavering belief that I can achieve it. I have a picture in my mind's eye of my idealized future. I move towards it. It may just be a little each day, but I am so consumed by the vision that ANY progress towards where I want to be feels good. So I think about where I am going a lot. After all, if you don't know where you are going, it's hard to get there. To sow a thought is to reap an action; Sow an action to reap a habit; Sow a habit to reap a character; Sow a character to reap a destiny. What I have always lacked is the courage of my convictions. I am apologetic and conformist. What I hope for my children is that they will have the courage to pursue their passions, despite what society or the bank might think. I've made so many life decisions based on fear of financial insecurity that I now live in a cage with golden bars. And I can say without a doubt that my emotional health tracks exactly with the health of my garden. When the garden is sad, so am I.
As a parent, I can't imagine giving up hope CC. Guess as long as I'm alive my kids will always have a bed if they ever need no matter how rough life gets. Couldn't do it any other way and still look myself in the mirror.
