So, I've been talking to this girl I met on a personals website, and she also happened to post on another message board that I do, not to mention was matched with me on HotorNot.com. We talked on the phone the other night and got along. I am really starting to like this girl. She likes to just travel randomly and go on road trips. She has an anxiety problem like me, so we have really understand each other. She said she would drive up here to see me if I wanted this December. I think I'm about ready for it. I realize all of the risks, but at the same time I realize I need to start changing. If she wants to take me on a ride and get me away from this place, I think I need to go for my own good. So far we are just friends, but she says she is attracted to me (from my pics) and I am obviously attracted to her. But I haven't talked to her in over a day because she said some guy friend of hers was coming from St. Louis to come visit her... "he is very interesting, you would like him"... So now I am just in panic, thinking that she might fall for him since she hasn't seen him in a while, and knows him in REAL life and all that. This isn't fair. I can't stand these thoughts anymore. To make it worse, I was real drunk last night and real depressed... I am still not relaxed. I keep waiting for her to sign on. I want to say "come up now". I also have no herb, and haven't in a week now. I was already depressed before this, and the reason I get so down every night is because I start to drink, and it just does not get better from there. I just miss her, and I want to talk to her on the phone again, but I won't call if some guy is there and they are having fun. I am just dreading the moment that she tells me "well, we hit it off" or something, even though she says he is just a friend. AHHHHHHHHH! Don't let this happen, pleease... this is biggest chance in a while to have any change in my life. Don't fall for him, fall for me! :-(
Do I detect a tear in the beer...cheer up...FTM...sun will always shine on your side of street...as long as you see it that way...many fish, many fishing trips...ahead...DC
One never knows where something may lead until the time comes FTM. If it's meant to be it will happen. You just have to relax and let the universe take you where you need to go.
well bro i have been there- there was a beautiful girl that was up north from me..... a beautiful bleu eyed angel that id basicly promised things and i never came through- instead i got cought up with fancy cars and street bikes and put off my trip to go see her- more or lesss the trip costed me a wonderful relationship because now shes with a wonderful guy who "worships the ground she walks on" and im TOTALLY happy for her- i want the same for me one day and maybe one day it will happen, so, what im saying is that good thongs come to those who wait- and better things to men that jump at the chance or the opportunity....... good luck with her- tell her what ya want bro!!!!!!!!!! and go get it!!!!!!!!! ' dont wait for it to happen- get it done~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i almost wonder if her guy friend is a homo ... have you asked? if he is, then well you dont have anything to worry about. If not ... well lets just say i rarely give people the benefit of the doubt GC
When you stop looking.....love will hit you like a ton of bricks. Those same words were said to me once. Very true IMO
FTM, Sounds like your friend was being honest with you and that's a good sign. I can offer you one thing though, alcohol won't make things better. Infact, the abuse of alcohol will intensify and amplify your emotions, only to leave you full of guilt, insecurity and regret. Don't do that to yourself. Good luck
It really shouldn't matter. If it's meant to be, it will be. If not, then.... You can't force these things. Just BE yourself.
FTM, does she know about your problem with alcohol? no offense, but you need to take care of your own problems before you involve someone else with them. if you were truly ready for a serious relationship with someone you would not be jealous of a male friend of hers. you would be happy that she has friends that care about her. i hope you DO find your true love, but i think you need to 'get your own house in order' first. good luck on that!
Yeah i agree Mary, ive had quite a few hotties come my way in past 2 years, but i have turned em all away. For now at least , untill i get my head straight, and stop being such a pessimist all the time. I need to get back on my feet and be full of confindence before i get involved with a female. The thing is i adore women so much that, if i cannot make them happy i dont want them to waste their time on me. And as for the "go after what you want" side of the topic. I have liked, or rather even loved this one girl since the day i met her when i was 12. All through middle school and high school i could never tell her because i was too shy and she was sooooo beautiful (the one every guy in school wanted). And she would even flirt with me but i never told her how i felt cause i am shy and a pessimist. So anyways last year i found out she was ENGAGED. Broke my heart, but i still felt "hey shes only 20, maybe she'll break it off before marrige". So, now im almost 21, shes now 21 and she had a baby girl a month ago. So now the only girl ive ever "loved" is engaged to be married, has a daughter, and is still the most attractive femlae i have ever had the pleaseure of being around. In short, if you really really like her, get her. I know im only 21 but this might have been the one for me, and i got left behind. Dont be like me.
you guys sound like you have to find the right person by a certain age or something. you're all young! you've got about 80 yrs ahead of you! how can you be so certain that you're making the right decisions this early in life? live a little, don't take life so seriously just yet ... especially with women! and PB, i re-met my first boyfriend after 40-something years apart and we got back together and it was terrific! you've got years of women ahead of you. look em all over. date them. but don't get so serious now. chances are slim that the only girl for you is one you'll meet in your 20's. give yourself time to grow up, for goodness sakes! some of you are drinking to excess and doing stupid things that cause you to lose everything you have, plus do time in jail. this is immature behavior, my dear friends. you need to grow up and learn who YOU are before you even start thinking about commiting the rest of your life to the most beautiful girl you've ever met or the one you met on the internet who is also shy like you. sorry to be so blunt, fellows, but i'm concerned about all of you! tell me if i'm wrong.
I say you are right on the money Mary. Take her advice guys...I married at 22....biggest mistake of my life, but I had to learn the hard way. I had many older friends and co-workers (I was a young dumb apprentice then) tell me to NOT get married so young....did I listen? Hell no....I was too much a rebel back in those days to think anyone but me had good advice. Let me tell ya right now...I've loved MANY women since that time and regret none of them. Even broke a few hearts along the way because 'Herb' was getting his head back on straight after the first fuckup at 22. I'm 35 and just now feel I am ready to settle down with a good woman, so live your life as Mary suggested and let love happen when it's time to happen. You'll find that the harder you chase it the more elusive it can be.
Chances are this guy is someone just like you, someone she met over the internet. Do yourself a huge favor cut back on the alcohol, cut back on the reefer, clean yourself up emotionally and physically as best you can. Take a good hot shower, brush your teeth(and tongue)well, put on some nice cologne and some decent threads, eat a good healthy meal then walk outside. While outside let the sun shine on your face for awhile, appreciate your surroundings and life in general visit the local library, the park, go to the movies, slowly walk through the mall or shopping centers, visit the bookstore. Enjoy yourself Try to smile, think positive when you see an interesting woman standing next to you thumbing through a book or contemplating buying something, talk to her. Chances are shes doing the same thing you are. Say "How are you doing?" and then comment on what shes doing with a smile put some enthusiasm behind it "I love that stuff you ever use it? its good stuff!" OR "Ive been wanting to buy that book heard it was excellent". Dont be shy just talk to her with sincerity. If you hit it off introduce yourself. "I didnt catch your name, Im _____" Shake her hand and do it with finesse sort of hold it while talking to her and looking her in the eye but not too long let her fingers slip through yours. Look her in the eye, smile at her occasionally show her that your interested not desperate...interested. All depending on how interested she is you plan your next move. Is she smiling at you? Is she winking at you? Youll find some women will wink at you continuously while talking to you normally. Has she put her hand on your shoulder or arm or has she rubbed up against purposely a few times? Women dont get close to people they dont feel comfortable with, period. Has she fixed her hair running her fingers through it trying to look her best for you while talking to you? Is she smiling and laughing looking you square in the eye. These are all signs shes interested be aware of them and respond to them. You'll find that you will be going home with a phone number or two, women like a man who isnt afraid to approach them and make the effort to "persue" them NOT stalk them. In other words back off when shes had enough fun. Then you have to call dont call every two minutes, just call. Take it slow theres no thinking about it, just do it. Dont have pie in the sky expectations, dont put any expectations on her just get to know her. If you like her over time and she likes you, then prove to her your the only man for her and she needs no other. Its the way its done. Whether youre on a dating service or not. Dont sell yourself short looks are only half the equation strong character trumps looks as long as you keep yourself clean and somewhat confident while having total respect for her and yourself. You can do it, believe in yourself. What are you waiting for?
