My dad walked out today. He probably expects to come back but little does he know this is the last time. My mom canceled their credit cards and is in the process of figuring out how she will buy his half of the house. He has not been a husband to my mom for a long time. He is an alcoholic and is just an absent husband (and father). I just don't seem to care. Actually...I am....almost relieved/happy? Anyone else have their parents divorce when they were already adults? My parents have been together 26 years. So this has really not set in at all for me....I mean it just happened this morning. I suppose I will feel a lot different later...or not? I really don't know. I just want my mom to be happy. I guess I want my dad to be too. Ok I want him to be happy too but he has done little to earn my or anyone's respect. What a strange feeling this is.
My parents (aunt&uncle raised) just recently split after 22+ years together. Both live in the same house but different rooms. Its a sad situation, my mom had one of those gastric bypass surguries and lost a tin of weight. I guess she thought it was high school again; partied til 3 am, going to bars/casinos, quoting her job, started using drugs. Then she found a new man. She would talk about it openly in front of everyone. It makes me sick to go my parents house and still to see her their. I've learned to just except it and move on.
I feel for you Canna. Family stuff can be sudden and often times strange to adjust to. I have had my fair share of family break ups lately, but just of a different kind. More of a feud within the family between certain members...... Over money and property of course. I won't get into that though. I hope both of your parents are happier for it in the long run. My parents have been together for 30+ years. For the past 20 of those they basically have been roommates. They have separate rooms and sleep apart from one another. Neither one has anyone else on the side though. They spend time together and eat together and whatnot. They will kiss each other hello in the morning and good night in the evening. I think they still get together for a little hanky panky on special occasions but they are more like long time good friends than husband and wife. It's sort of strange but I don't judge. My Mom is a little hard to get along with and my dad is a bit of an eccentric and chauvinistic. Somehow though after 30+ years they are still together and from what I can tell they will stay together. I'm sure they will sleep in separate rooms for the rest of their lives though.
Geez yeah my parents sound a lot like your parents (and aunt/uncle parents). They have already not been sleeping in the same room for quite a while. Maybe 10-15 years.....so I guess the relationship has been over for a long time. I don't know what I feel like now, no longer so much relief and/or happy....more into unknown. My brother (from a different father, I have two siblings both much older than me) keeps trying to get me to cry. He is very very upset because he went through this with his dad and our mom already. I am gonna just live with my mom again for a while. Just her and I since we are best friends. I just feel sorry for my dad. I just don't want him to kill himself. I cannot imagine him taking care of himself very well....but maybe they will both be happier apart. Tough situation. Well I am sorry I am not alone in this. Life 'should' be perfect and our parents are meant to sleep in the same room and love each other and what-not. It is hard to look at the people you grew up with and realize they are just that, people...with big problems and not so simple solutions. I guess I am surprised it happened. No fight or anything, he just left. They are kind of sickeningly cordial now :/
I'd imagine its easier to process as an adult though Canna. Still major sore one ,but easier to process all the same. My Mum and Dad divorced when i was 8-9. Never understood why,still dont. Although its plain as day they are total opposites. But as a kid you take it for granted you got a Mum and Dad forever in the way your accustomed. When they split its traumatic and that shit really affects your kids and how they gonna grow. As an adult i would have hardly blinked cos all my friends mums and dads were splitting up. As a kid it made me feel different to other kids. I found the whole step dad shit tiring too.And traumatic,ended up splitting and going live with my Dad when i was 10. My Mums 2nd husband died and shes remarried again. I couldnt stand hubby #2 even though he fathered my youngest bro and sis. But as an adult with hubby#3 i get on great with the guy. Its a rough deal either way but just be thankful you didnt have to go through it as a kid,its ALWAYS more traumatic as a kid. assit:
I don't know. I guess it has to be a situation by situation thing. I just talked to my dad. Totally cried with him...we never do that. I would never say it is easier for any age without knowing since it did not happen to me as a kid. It really, really depends on the situation and age of the child. Especially a child around when your parents were....around 9 or so when things really are changing with the body. That would be very difficult. But AP I don't want to diminish this for anyone. It is hard for everyone :/ But I think it is harder for my parents right now than it is for me, especially my dad. I feel so sad for my dad now. He does what he does because he is depressed. I get that now. I can't blame him anymore. Now I just feel utterly terrible for him. Worse than for me, way worse. My mom is going to be alright. So am I. I just feel so bad for him right now. Strange how 1 day or 2 can really change a person's feelings. God. He cried and told me how he still wants to be a grandpa. He knows I don't want kids and his grandchildren are my sibling's kids which he is not related to. I called my mom and he is going to come to our 4th of July party. Poor guy. He did bring it on himself but alcoholism is a disease and it is mostly because of depression. I feel so so bad for him right now. I am glad we talked though. I think he feels better after that and knowing he is coming to the party and yes he will still be grandpa even though I won't have my own kids. :'( I talked him through getting a netflix account since he loves movies. He is getting an apartment nearby. I thought it would be more about me but it so is not. At least he does have me. I am his only child. God, this is depressing. Such is life I guess. We will probably be closer once things settle. I think without them fighting all the time all three of us will be happier but everyone is in shock right now and it is the worse for him. I was so mad at him before. Now I just feel terrible for him.
