MINAS TIRITH (Gondor News Network) - Thousands of peace activists took to the streets of Minas Tirith and other cities of Middle Earth today to protest what they termed a rush to war with Mordor. “We need more time for diplomacy,” said a key member of the Middle-Earth Security Council, Saruman the White. “I am not convinced by the evidence presented by my esteemed colleague, Gandalf the Grey, or that the Dark Lord Sauron presents an imminent danger to the peoples of the West.” Many of the people protesting war in Mordor agreed with Saruman’s remarks. “Sauron says he’s destroyed his Rings of Mass Destruction (RMD) and that’s good enough for me,” said one fellow carrying a sign that said “Elrond is a Balrog.” Another demonstrator urged, “Give the RMD inspectors more time. There’s no reason to rush to any judgment just because Mount Doom is belching lava, the Dark Tower is rebuilt, and Osgiliath has been decimated.” A third protester piped up, “I haven’t heard a single bit of convincing evidence connecting the Nazgul with Sauron. I think they destroyed Osgiliath on their own initiative without any support from Sauron. Besides, it’s understandable they’re angry with Gondor. We haven’t done nearly as much for the Orcs and Goblins and Easterlings as the Nazgul and Sauron have. It’s understandable they throw their support to them. It’s our own fault really.” As the protesters continued their march through the city, they chanted, “No blood for Mount Doom,” voicing a common sentiment that the leaders of the Western peoples are really seeking to get their hands on the powerful Mount Doom, where the One Ring of Power was allegedly forged. Gandalf the Grey was unavailable for comment. A spokesman said he was in an undisclosed underground location, which sources have revealed is codenamed: Moria.
good god i hope that they can get that freaking ringinto the pit before some **** gets thrown down. Look out yur plants might start showing some attitude.
you said a mouthful buddy! Im pro-gandolph all the way!! We need to remove sauron now! Im sick and frikin tired of that god be damned saroman always openin his mouth against common sense! I think theres somethin fishy about that man.... I think he's in kahoots with sauron! I bet when we storm mordor, were gonna find "made in Isengard" tags all over the Uruk Hai!
heheeh,fishman- a freind of mine posted your article on a sports forum he goes to, and this is what was replied!LMAO Why We Must Avoid War with Mordor Grima Wormtongue New Gondor Times Opinion Editorial There are many in Gondor who would counsel war with Mordor, pickers of bones, meddlers in other men's sorrows, carrion-fowl that grow fat on war. While wizards and enchanters like that Stormcrow Gandalf and the Sorceress of the Golden Wood conspire to stage a power struggle with the rightfull Lord of the Rings, they intend to use us as cannon fodder in their schemes to gain control of the One Ring of Power for themselves. While none would deny that Sauron has committed evil acts, there was a time when Numenor took counsel with Morgoth. One must ask why was it acceptable for the wise to listen to the counsel of Morgoth who it seems was not a threat, yet they claim that Sauron must be eradicated. There are other dark forces in the Middle Earth today. Are we to pursue each and every dark power which wishes to rule Middle Earth and enslave all men and elves? If we did, we would be constantly enmeshed in fighting such wars. Furthermore Sauron's greatest atrocities are long behind him and he is even a force for stability in the region. If Sauron is to be toppled, the result would be chaos as armies of Orcs, Wargs and Trolls would wage war on each other. Even now there have been reported clashes between Orc groups and this situation would only deteriorate further without Sauron to maintain order. If Sauron is gone, we would be obligated to keep that order ourselves, an enterprise which would tie up tens of thousands of troops and deplete our treasuries. Even if we were to undertake such rash actions, we must also consider the Easterling and Haradrim street which would undoubtedly be outraged by the slaughter of tens of thousands of Orcs and might well choose to believe that this is a war against all those who allied themselves with Mordor. Thus a conflict with Mordor could spill over until we find ourselves fighting numerous wars on numerous fronts. Gondor is a great power but even Gondor cannot defeat all of Middle Earth. It thus becomes quite clear that we cannot allow the schemes of Wizards contending for power to pull us into a conflict which can be avoided if we instead choose the way of peace. But where wise men like Saruman counsel peace, Gandalf Stormcrow calls for war bringing ill wherever he goes. It is hoped that Denethor and my lord Theoden will listen to the voices of the vast majority of the Men of Gondor and avoid a war that will bring untold horrors with it. : Grima Wormtongue was a key adviser to Theoden son of Thengel and is currently residing in Orthanc. (Edited by Sylent Skull at 2:46 pm on Mar. 1, 2003)
Middle World Dwarves Join War on Iraq 3/20/2003 - William Grim Washington, D.C. - After the New York Times reported last week a substantial spike in the sale of battle axes, Broken Newz has learned that the Dwarves of Middle Earth have joined America, Britain, Spain and Australia in the War on Iraq. Elements from the 101st Airborne Dwarf Battalion, "The Screaming Gimlis," are slated to parachute into Baghdad and hack to death prominent members of the Ba'ath Party as well as the family of Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. Once Baghdad has been secured, the Dwarves are then planning on attacking France where they will establish an independent Republic of Dwarfistan from lands currently held by the countries of France and Germany. Germany has a substantial Dwarf population, where they are known as Garden Gnomes. The United Nations High Commission on Refugees is worried about a disruption of food supplies to the beleaguered Dwarves of northern France and Germany and has asked the industrialized nations to contribute emergency supplies of mead, wild boar and mutton.
