This is when Jesus comes in handy!!!

Discussion in 'Smokers Lounge' started by TheApprentice, May 24, 2013.

  1. TheApprentice

    TheApprentice Retired.

    Sitting with a beer and some takeaway with my boy and out of leftfield he starts asking me what would happen if i die:eek: Im like "Aint gonna happen son" but he started getting upset and teary eyed and from then on in it was 90 questions. How do you answer hypothetical question after hypothetical question? JESUS!:wink:


    Every question i dont have an answer for i tell him Jesus will sort it:icon_biggrin: Although that only works so long cos then he started going "But Dad how can i talk to Jesus if i cant see him":eusa_doh: I wa slike "ehhh,son Jesus only helps people who believe in him!" and he says "how can he help me if i cant hear what he says though" Ahh kids crack me up man. Kinda startling to see whats going on in my 5yr olds head though.He was proper upset ,he actually fucking made me think im gonna die soon just listenin to him:5eek: This where being a single parent sucks cos normally i could just say "your Mum will look after you":lmao: Had to get him laughing again... Just explained im gonna live to see him with kids and that i'll be so old he'll need to wipe my bum for me.That got him laughing again. Little gobshite replies "Dad im just going to leave you with poopants" Yeah thanks son:rofl:
     
  2. MrAstro

    MrAstro R.I.P

    That's cute :thumbs-up:
     
  3. EvilSkuzzi

    EvilSkuzzi Sweet Guy

    They are the same questions that put me off Jesus ;)
     
  4. ResinRubber

    ResinRubber Civilly disobedient/Mod

    Because most five year old's are blank slates and haven't been inculcated with cultural adoration for a mythical being. When you tell them something impossible they see it for what it is and disregard it as just another story dad is telling me.
     
  5. LionLoves420

    LionLoves420 Lazy Days In The Sun

    I refuse to make my kids believe in Santa-Jesus.
     
  6. TheApprentice

    TheApprentice Retired.

    He just caught me of guard with a lot of stuff he was saying to me. Kinda sad that he worries about this knda thing at this age but not surprising.Sometimes kids need to hear out of this world kinda stuff when real world answers dont satisfy them. He was getting himself all worked up about what would happen to him if i wasnt here no more.When i said not to worry cos his auntie and Gran would always be there his reply was "but how will they know cos they live so far away" and then he started telling me how other kids have a mom in case the dad dies. I guess hes becoming more aware of certain things now that hes about to turn 6. Sometimes a kid just needs to hear theres a man in the sky who will always watch over him. :2c:
     
  7. LionLoves420

    LionLoves420 Lazy Days In The Sun

    I was around his age when I started having "satan" dreams. Last time I had nightmares that I remember. It was because of all the bullshit people told me. That was also about the time I figured out the Easter Bunny wasn't real and started to doubt this Jesus guy.....:danger:
     
  8. TheApprentice

    TheApprentice Retired.

    See thing is i didnt introduce him to the whole Jesus gig.That was my Mum while i was in hospital. It worked for him at the time i guess.
     
  9. LionLoves420

    LionLoves420 Lazy Days In The Sun

    Well, just make me feel like an atheist asshole then.......:bong2:
     
  10. LionLoves420

    LionLoves420 Lazy Days In The Sun

    And by the way, it only gets worse. Soon you will have to be an astrophysicists to answer all his questions. The best one for me, again I am atheist, was explaining to my daughter why there are spiders and mosquitoes. Her question was, "Why would god make those things if they hurt people?"


    It would be a lot easier to explain it all to her if we didn't live in the south and Evolution was actually taught the right way.
     
  11. TheApprentice

    TheApprentice Retired.

    LOL. He seems overly curious as to how God can see through walls:rofl: I try say "if he can make a universe im sure he can see through walls". His reply-"yeah but he cant fly like iron man":icon_biggrin: Its a beautiful thing a kids mind!
     
  12. LionLoves420

    LionLoves420 Lazy Days In The Sun

    IF god was like Iron Man, I would believe.
     
  13. TheApprentice

    TheApprentice Retired.

    How do you know hes not?:icon_biggrin:
     
  14. jr215

    jr215 Caged hippie

    Kids open our eyes to many things we wouldn't see otherwise. Give him a pat on the head from this yank across the pond.
     
  15. LionLoves420

    LionLoves420 Lazy Days In The Sun

    Because millions believe in him and he isn't real.....like Jesus...:smoke2:
     
  16. TheApprentice

    TheApprentice Retired.

    Suck Gods ballS Lion!:icon_biggrin: And yeah jr will do:thumbsup:
     
  17. dlr42

    dlr42 King of GrowKind

    God only has one ball? That explains why He didn't have more kids.


    Peace.....
     
  18. TheApprentice

    TheApprentice Retired.

    OOhh yer all going in the hellfire!:evil4: His balls are too big for Lion.Lion can only handle one at a time:roll: The other one is for nippie or skuzz:bigok:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 25, 2013
  19. LionLoves420

    LionLoves420 Lazy Days In The Sun

    It doesn't matter, I can take all of god's balls, because they don't exists :smoke2:
     
  20. TheApprentice

    TheApprentice Retired.

    See when you are overcome with some shit ...thats Gods jizz man.:jerk: Your fucked now Lion!:eusa_naughty::roll:
     

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