I’ve been coasting for a year or two now. Nothing much changes, life is pretty good. It’s comfortable, but it’s starting to become a rut. You see things outside of it and they look good, but it would involve doing something outside the comfort zone. I got married last year and that took me 100% out of the comfort zone. I dreaded it for a year. It’s totally anti me, but it was great! Everything changed for a few weeks. Woke me up. It could have been a disaster but it wasn't, it was brilliant. I’m back now though and had a good Christmas and things are comfortable again. I’ve got a few things on the horizon though that looks like they could completely rock the boat. Direct torpedo type shit! Not sure whether I'm looking forward to hitting them head on or whether I should just try me best to navigate round them
I was the worlds worst BF, signifigant other, etc... I beleive im going thru the same type situation (if I read your post "correctly") 30-40 minutes of smiling and fun aint worth a lifetime of disgust with yourself, that shit starts to weigh on your mind Id back off Skuzz
Nah its not women. Im happy with my life, just a few things look like they may come to fuck things up. But it could be fun. Its 50/50 if the wife get made redundent next week, where thinking of having babies and im half way through trying to starting up a business. Anyone of them could really shake the etch-o-sketch. But im looking at them thinking "ooooo lets see what happens".
MAn, we just had our baby on Thanksgiving Day MY life did a 180.........the kid puts the brakes on 75% of your dreams INSTANTLY Dont get me wrong, I love my kid, we DID plan her.......BUT I would have fullfilled some thing I wanted to do first, went some places, tried some things, etc..etc..
Thats my point Ive got plans, but I cant do it all. One stops the oter type thing. Any stops an easy life!
Go for it Skuzz it's never going to be the best time to have kids but once you do you'll love them.They give you a purpose in life & going in to business for yourself will help support your family-Bud
Ya, its heavy duty for sure......Now when we need or wanna do something we have to take an hour just to make the plans to do whatever it is Im a get up and go kinda guy......now i have to wait, wait, wait......I HATE IT! Not to mention the shit you CANT even think of doing that you USED to do in a blink of an eye Like this situation, this is KILLING me.........Im a serious hometown sports fan, our football team is in the playoffs......I have an opportunity to get tickets for me and my lady, 20 rows off the field...midfield....DIRT CHEAP!!!! Face value!!! $153 for each, going for $500 for each on ebay/craigslist Anyhow......NOW cuz of the baby, we need to find someone to watch our 45 day old baby for 8-9 hours???!?!?!?!?!?!?! NOT guna happen, cant even think to ask someone to do that for us, so not fair to someone else Thats just a little scenario but its driving both of us nuts and its just a part of the game now, I hate it!
My .02 cents (pence. whatever). We had my son at an early age(18).It sucked, but yet it didn't. We couldn't go too many places. People didn't, wouldn't understand. My son is 32 now. Friends of ours over, say, the last 20 years have had kids. We were doing pretty well and were going and doing all kinds of shit. They couldn't. Now they understood. And being younger with my son I got to do a hellava more with him than they could at their age with a teen and have fun. Now my son and I are friends as well as father/son. I love it. As far as your business, I'd go for it. I had an oppertunity back then and didn't take it. My friend needed a partner but I couldn't (afraid of not providing,I think. He had an apartment over his parents house, no rent)) afford to put an income on hold for a year. Don't get me wrong, I didn't leave him hanging. I went and helped him after my regular job for 4-5 hours a night running his presses and pumping some work out for him for what ever he could afford to pay me. Man, I'm rambling. You can tell when I'm on here stoned. I guess I'm trying to say, Kids...Something has to go on hold no matter when you have them. Business... Wish I had the balls to get one going.
the way I've seen life so far, is that even if you plan something, or steer towards something you want, it never ends up that way. you end up with something totally different, and it's sometimes better than what you wanted in the first place. As far as regrets - the only things I have EVER regretted were the things i DIDNT do. you need to rock the boat sometimes in your life. for me, it reminds me I'm still kickin, I still have a brain, and I still want things in life. let what happens ride. See what happens. Always have the backup plan on the back burner, but let life just do what it will, and roll with it. Sometimes it sucks a fat one, and sometimes it's totally, unexpectedly a riot. This is all assuming by going with the flow you're not going to completely fuck up someone else's life, cause that would be a dick move..... Just my .02 GTWT :XXhippylove:
that's a tough one. if you choose business, if you fail, you've lost both. if you choose family, will you always wonder "what if?" Is it one or the other, kids? Or one or the other, your wife? IMO, kids CAN wait, but if your lady will leave, that's a different story. GTWT :XXhippylove:
Well...welcome to Real Life of the Adult. The second you said, "I do", everything changedm forever. Now you live in the Land called, "Compromise". You arent just a "me", naymore. Now you're half of an "us". This has it's good and it's bad points. Im guessing you're discovering that long about now. You did well waiting to be almost 30 before getting married. Some things just...kinda have to happen. For instance, you could have chosen to not get married, but then after ten years you'd be an "old bachelor" and people would wonder about you, LOL. Each stage of life has it's inherent Changes and we're all pretty much strapped in for the Ride. You're at the Young Married stage. Soon will come the Family stage. Can it be avoided? Well....yes, but not really. I mean, you could be married and NOT have kids. But...what would have been the point of getting married? See what I mean? Strapped in for the whole Ride. Whew. Good luck and enjoy the trip, I guess. Dix
Im with you on this one! "Life is what happens when we're making other plans", as John Lennon said. You kind of have to plan your course but also stay prepared to make course changes, depending on what Life brings to you. There's a lot of stuff we can control, but then there's the X Factor---the stuff that comes from outside your control. In the Big Picture, I dont think it's ever the stuff that goes "right" that teaches us. It's the stuff that goes "wrong"...and how we deal with it....that makes us who we are at the End. Dix
Ha Ha I knew from the first post you were probably talking about Kids!! Dont freak out Skuzzi you can do both and I am sure you will do fine!! You will never be sorry (I guarantee it) Teamster6
I've had a few (seemingly) happily married friends tell me they wish they were in my shoes. I've become set-in-my-ways and comfortable (and I don't care to have just any chick around here re: growing), but not having kids (looking that way more-and-more) will most certainly be my biggest regret. Get the business thing going asap and start a family :thumbs-up:
I think it's a necessity to shake things up from time to time to not only keep things interesting but to make you appreciate what you have. As for the kids, what kind of support system you guys got in place in regards to grandparents?? If you have those around, its all good. When my first was born we had tons of help when needed (shit they practically begged to watch them). But my work led me away from home and once the extra help is gone so is all of your free time. I'm odd in a way that I'm not a huge fan of letting people watch my kids (other than mine and my girls parents and other direct family). People think im nuts but I've read one too many stories about babysitters passing out and kids dying. Kids are a must IMO though. Nothing is better than my kids and now I will have someone to water my crop when I'm too old to!!!:bong-2:
so it's business vs. kids, correct me if I'm wrong, skuzz. I just recently made that decision myself a few years ago. I chose business. I've never had a strong desire to have kids - If it happened, I'd roll with it, btu didn't seek it out. Starting something of my own though? I'm so passionate about what I do, and what I can do, it's what drives me every day. I see it everywhere I look - I dream about my business. I can't get get enough. The sense of accomplishment from what I've done and what I will do is more than anything I've ever felt. The question is - how passionate are you? How do you define accomplishment? What makes you feel like you've done life as the best you could? Is it coming home from your own business, your dream, something you built with your sweat, pain, and tears? Is it waking up to have little skuzzis climbing over you, playing catch and swinging? Although I don't know your details, I don't see why you can't delay the family thing for a while and focus on your biz. When that gets stable, then you can have kids. You're only 30, plenty of time. Also, if it's a matter of pissing off the lady, did she not know about your dreams/business when she married you? was she expecting you not to go through with it? GTWT :XXhippylove:
If I were closer, I'd babysit. I love kids. Kids love me (Mom always brings that up!). I'm not too fond of kids not properly raised; pain in the ass terrors! I didn't like my buddy handing me his 2 day old, but once they're a few months, they're cake. A diaper change isn't the worst thing in the world. I'd be the most over-bearing, protective father; esp. with a little girl. Watch it on tv, as you hold The Little Juan :thumbs-up:
