TheApprentices 'OTHER' grow-op

hello and goodbye Geheim...

pAHOA AINT VERY SUBLIMINAL GEHEIM..... G lived in hawaii for several years if you read his posts and im sure that was one of his old accounts,he made a statement he was retiring the geheim name to take up that one,seems G has decided on another instead,G your persistant i give ya that:icon_wink:fftheair:


ps: BTW the name Schui wouldnt be in reference to geheim and taipaus formula one ferrari legend racing driver micheal schumaker of germany now would it,it was G's avy for many times...why give yourself away so easily,us mods like to play cluedo you know,so it wasnt professor plumb in the library with a candlestick then:cya:

 

Lost in translation man,this is the real me talking>>>


I hear what yer sayin knives but if you knew what i did and saw what i have you woukld be TELLING me to go for custody,she cant handle the kid shes already got,shes unstable by her own admission and iv been the main carer for both boys for 4 years and since callums birth,i might post my stoned or drunken ramblings on GK to get it out my system but in reality im a solid guy and i would never use callum as a tool for revenge,in fact she wants to get back with me ,its me thats had enough now,shes too immature i think and wants to live and act like a teen,believe me man,i would do anything to have her and kenzie back the way we were as a happy family before her daft pals got her into all sorts of shit behind my back,when i talk to her or see her im very civil and i give callum to her family every 2nd weekend,they didnt turn up for him tonight,thats a prime example of what im talkin about,honestly knives i appreciate the advice and stuff but i do put my son first and i dont use him as a revenge tool:disgustperish the thought,...for real man!)


.....iv been ORDERED by the powers that be NOT to return him to her,you think they would take a kid from his mum unless they had good reason,at every meeting she had they all said without me there their would be no main carer for both boys.


You misunderstand me slightly it would seem compared to others who know when im just angry or being serious or just getting shit out my system via a keyboard as i find it hard to talk to my guy mates about these things in real life,etc


,sometimes im stoned or on valium just getting shit out my system man,in real life i play the long game,im level headed in all my dealings,


...i dont deny access to her family and the social services even are fighting on my behalf to make sure i keep full custody,if you knew the real ins and outs you'd see things differently but i cant and wont or wouldnt actually post the REAL shit that caused the breakdown,put it this way she tries to take her own life for sympathy even though she died on me twice:cry:,theres lots i could say to belittle her but i wont,please understand i come on here to try laugh it of and let out the anger,better that than in real life,im a melow guy who did al i could and can for her,shes gonna be in my life foir the next 16 years so i gotta try be civil,its her that throws her toys out the pram when she dont get her own way.


Im 5 years older and wiser than her but she needs to make her own mistakes and see the grass aint greener elsewhere,im not actualy 'loco' like i say,im pretty mature in reality in all my actions these days,i got all the demons out my closet many moons ago,hers are just starting to surface sadly.I want my babies mum to be stable and civil and shit but life dont always deal you the hand you want and i aint prepared to gamble with my only childs future on a girl by her own admission who can be up one day and down in a dark place the next.


As for my writings,they may not be to youyr taste or liking,i dont post to please others,i just tell it like it is and wear my heart on my sleeve and yes granted at times i should maybe say nothintg but i cant bottle up all my pent up sadness,anger and frustrations so i come here and let it all out and feel better for it,does that make more sense to you


...Regarding my posts,thats just my mind racing and typing 50 words per minute drunk or stoned,i dont think about how im gonna construct a post to begin with,i just go with the flow,if i sat and thought each post out i wouldnt be true to myself,i wear my heart on my sleeve like a badge of honour but you got me slightly wrong in some areas from what your saying but thats not your fault,you are only trying to make heads or tails outta a fucked up situation from what little you admit you read of my posts padre:jj:...


Put it this way...posting on GK got it and gets it out my system,i enjoy just typing and i sometimes do type faster than i think and i do regret saying some things but i dont edit or delet what i say,i like to look back on the opsts in happier times and see how far iv came or how different my mindset is,i have nothing to prove to anyone and the people like my fellow modertors and members on growkind who really know me best know that im a good dad and i aint using my son as leverage,im willing to let her have him every weekend,thats fair,why should i disrupt his routine,i just sorted out a 5 bedrom house with huge gardens,a semi detatched home oposite my dad that my mums leasing to me as shes moved to pastures not too far,i have him enrolled in a top nursery


....his whle life has been spent primarily with me being his main or only carer so why would i want to give him to her just cos shes the mum


....its about time us guys woke up to the fact that we too have rights when it comes to our own children and i assure you i wouldnt have custody and she wouldnt be banned from seeing her own son if the social services thought otherwise


,im playing it by the book,no dirty tricks,theres 101 things i could say that would grant me instant permanent custody but i wouldnt do that to her or she might lose callums half brother kenzie,trust me knives,my intentions are always good for the kids first and foremost.... plus i aint the one who walked out lesaving me holding the baby saying "i cant cope with that little rat":angry7:....seriously man,all my crazy days are in the past(mostly)im just a guy who has a better bond with his son than the mum,she dont even talk to him or try to bond at all,callum in fact is very clingy to me and is unsure of her when he has seen her,kids usually pick up on vibes and my son seems hapier with mme says the health visitor among others,plus he dont get left in his crib all day with dairy milk,i give him 3 square healthy meals a day,i make sure i count and repeat and read words and show shapes to him and i give him unconditional love(he didnt get this from his mum,even his older brother lives with her mum cos her mum even knows she is hard work or 'high maintenance' but no matter what i dont TRULY wanna see her demise,i might say shit at times when shes been on the phone saying shit,poking me fir reactions and i come on here and post in the heat of the moment but im a good guy and if i thought what i was doing was anything but the best for him i wouldnt be doing it dude,PLEASE TRUST ME ON THAT!


In a matter of a month the health visitors noticed iv got him in a great routine and interacting with his cousins and uncles and aunties too,hes started speaking and running since he came to live with me,for real,this is one case where all parties agree that hes best of with me,my dad won custody of me in the divorce and im the oldest of 5 ,im glad he did what he did and im sure one day callum will be too i hope.Who knows what the future holds man,you've been through some similar shit so you'll know how numb and raw it can be at certain times no?


If anything im trying to help her get of drugs and encourage her to make cntact with her family and social worker but shes already got a 5 year old she struggles with as it is ,the way i see it im helping her cos many guys wouldnt have took on the responsibility the way i have after the way i was treated,


...she took kindness for weakness and regrets it now and wants me back but we've grown to far apart TBH, but callum will always be here when his mums ready to come and see hgim or take him to her parents to spend the weekend with his brother....where is there a rule that says a kid is best of with his mum


I mean if hes getting better treated with me then surely iv every right to fight to keep him?,afterall she chose to ditch him and her other son for a bender on drink and drugs,fuck id love to do shit like that,act all young free and single again not a care in the world but when you create kids you gotta step up to the plate,as my old siggy says,its easy to become a dad,its not as easy to actualy BE a proper dad...


... but i recognise the responsibility i have as a father and role model... its hard to explain and win you over in a single post mate but trust me i aint using him as a tool,far from it,in fact iv let her see him when she isnt allowed to,under strict supervision in my home of course.


She left me and him with the clothes we were wearing,she still hasnt gave me any of our stuff from the old home and iv just bought him all he needs and im teaching him good i keep getting told,you dont know what she did man,if only you knew the half of it you'd think differently please believe me on this and this is a woman i still love but just cannot risk losing my son over this/her by getting back with her which is what is at risk,


...all the same i take on board your opinions and critique/constructive critisicms,if i thought i couldnt cope and he would be better with his mum id let him go but i KNOW and so do the courts that he is safe and in a healthy enviroment with me,this is me talking stoned but straight to the point,


....i joke around,i get angry and take it out on my keyboard plus i have some real good friends here at GK who are like my consiglieries and i trus their advice as its alanced and fair,aint no point me hiding my hurt,she reads what i write and its starting to sink into her just what shes done plus the whole rock bottom drug thingy novelty is wearing thin with her but she is way far from stable and iv been told iv i gave callum back to her id be jeopordising MY rights to see him...WHAT WOULD YOU DO GIVEN WHAT IV JUST TOLD YOUPeace knives

 

Coming from a mom who knows a similar situation that means a lot ....THANX 4 POSTING


Im glad that from another mothers point of view and from your friends situation(which is eerily similar to what im going through too) you know about that you being one of the 'new kids on the block' can see me for what i really am,a guy who cares more for his kid than anything in the world,i loved and love my ex but she pulled to much shit on me that im still finding out about,she is money orientated and only wants callum back for the money she knows i will give her to ensure he wants for nothing but she'd only spend it on herslef TBH with maybe the odd thing for him,sad but true,ppl dont understand this till a month ago was the love of my life and i had a happy family with two boys,i raised her other boy just like my own and a lotta guys find that hard to do alone.


Knives has maybe just taken some of my posts to literally but as i try to explain,its only been a month or over and it is still very sore,very raw and saddens me no end at what occurred as it came out of the blue,i didnt see it coming the way it unfolded,by going for cusotdy as advised by all the proper "agencies" im throwing down the gauntlet to her to clean up her act and if it works id happily have joint access and would LOVE her to be able to cope with callum and kenzie together but she even said on the phone earlier unless i come back she cant cope,i was her crutch and when she didnt have me she ran away and hid from social services,etc and took to hard drugs,shes now in a bad way but on the mend which deep down is what i want but WHY OH WHY do ppl think that just cos a woman gave birth to the child that shes better of with him,iv saw many cases where mothers mistreat their kids and the dads dont and other cases where the mum meets a new guy and he acts like a :jerk: to the womans kids,


....i aint gonna let some punk treat my son like "baggage" and not raise him right,i raised her son like he was mine,his dad dont pay her nothing or do nothing with kenzie,poor kenzie even wanted to be known by the samwe surname as me and callum,etc cos his dads let him down so much,his dads a hash dealer and that occupies all his time,not exactly a great role model imo either but thats like the pot csalling kettle black as i grow,not in the home but at my 'locations' availablbe to me,etc...


...i might stop for a while and raise callum,i'll never diss his mum in front of him,im the one thats remained calm in all my dealings with her and her family and gave them access and iv never told her she cant see her son but the courts and social workers HAVE,its outta my hands,if she wants callum shes gotta go through the proper channels like iv been doing,it aint been easy for me,in fact the easy option would be to hand him over but hes my son!!!!


....to some that might not mean what it mens to me but hes the future line of my family and i pride myself in being a good parent,i aint saying she aint but shes got major issues to deal with before she even thinks about trying to get him back and iv been told to go for full perm custody by her social workers,even her family think hes better of with me so what does that say about her,him and my parenting skills and my responsibility and maturity through out all this?


Im trying hard to be amicable even thoughim hurting like a mo'fo deep down,i really thought she was "the one" and she wants me back,im TORN,half of me wants her but the heart says yes but the brain say s NO cos i KNOW a few months down the line this will happen again,


...it aint the first time shes pulled stunts like this y'all gotta understand,im only painting half the picture here cos i dont really wanna turn GK into my persoanl diary/journal on the topic,i just started a thread and got PM's and i update the PM's and threads.Thanks for being able to see the real me and you've only known me for a 'minute' yet you seem to know me far better than some(no knives not a dig at you,i took on board constructively your critique and advice:thumbsup:..even though you dnt like my posts,lol)


Thanx L.M. You seem to be on the same wavelength and understanding of my situation and thats a comfort cos after reading what knives wrote saying i am 'loco' i thought to myself.."is that what ppl think of me?" when im only venting my anger or whatever on a forum?,better that than to do it in real life is it not thoughPeace all of you ,especially my good friends who have been keeping in touch with me sinnce the shit hit the proverbial ,you know who you are:icon_wink: ONE LOVE:binkybaby:

 

I fuckin love you GK!!!!!!! They once were lost but now their found-BABYSCANS!!!

:eusa_dance: I got my babyscan pix back:eusa_dance::bump::bump::bump:Just found summit valuable i thought i had lost-babyscan pics.:thumbsup:W-O-W. Aint it fuckin trippy when you read old posts:5eek: This thread just brought a wee tear to this Glass Eye,lol. Due to leaving my ex with nothing,no baby pics,no jackshit,just what little i could carry and his birth certificates,etc,well i honestly have none of the baby scans due to that and losing a few cellphones and my old hardrive so to come across this thread just totally made my fuckin day,im so happy to have retrieved these pics that i totally forgot about.Good ol GK:notworthy: Heres a couple of updated pics from 2012.Thanks GKSide Note- how fucked up was i:tvlaugh: Yeah knives maybe got close to the truth with his 'loco' comment but it was what it was.I had abroken heart at the time,was in some deep shock at my family crumbling around me,dealing with a drug addicted GF... yeah smetimes you just cant see the forest for the trees eh? BTW i really cant believe how anyone of you guys put up with my long drunken stoned posts for so long.Now i know why admin instigated a no novels rule in the admin lounge round about the same time i was tapped For my long sorry ass posts i apologise,lol. For the loco shit,i cringe but its interesting to look back and see the progression.That was some defining moments in my life back there with the best still to come(and the worst). Where is Mermaid,Capt Kush,stangman,Lukesmommy and the rest????Anyways i bumped this thread cos im so happy to get these pictures back in my life of the babyscans. The ones of the ex just reminded me how fuckin hot she was,lol. We have no contact apart from Facebook,been three years and shes got another kid now but the oldest two dont live with her. My boy really has very distant contact with her Family,the 2 sisters still keep in touch about 5 times a year,i think they know hes in the right place with me.TBF they supported me a lot during my recent troubles. Anyways heres me typing novels again.Just thought this thread should finsh on a happy ending.... by me finally proving i am sane....sort of No the happy ending is he starts school in next week and me and him still going from strength to strength.I remember being told at the time how i would look back on these threads with no bitterness,only smiles and that times now,yeah i maybe took the hard route to get here but cest la vie! Thanks GK for my babyscan pics back:icon_salut: Apart from the cringe factor at posting such personal shit on a forum... this thread has just made my Day:bravo:





/monthly_2012_08/FacebookHomescreenImage.jpg.bd2ee6cad9cebe0d5ba044298f567855.jpg

/monthly_2012_08/IMG00220-20120326-1535.jpg.4ea793580197df28736f639e7d06e5d8.jpg

/monthly_2012_08/IMG00084-20120313-1349.jpg.585360503f398fed71dbbb7ee8a83a81.jpg

 

Apprentice twinned with CCrete


:tvlaugh: Fancy coming for a holiday next time im in an I.D parade

 

Think usual suspects with you standing in for me Its good to know theres another me out there terrorizing the states,lol,got any scottish blood in your ancestry CC

 

Thats the Glasgow Art Gallery and Museum,iv went there since i was a kid and made sure iv did the same with Callum. The other pic is at the beach in Scotland too

 

This is one Will Smith tune i appreciate for the lyrics...


Seeing as theres some gallery issues right now, i lost it then res found it for me but i had a sesi-man account that was my original account on here before i settled on The Apprentice name.Anyways some pics are missing but some were pictures i thiught i would never see again so this thread has kinda became a scrap book to remind me of callum pre-birth and onwards.I really should take time to upload them all to photobucket. The reason im bumoing this is cos back in 2009 my sister made me a birthday gift of clips of me,callum and his cusin James (ur big buddies kid with my sister). It was at a time when we were homeless noit long after id left hius Mum.Custody battles being roufhgt and shut like that.HARD DAYS....yet looking back HAPPY DAYS!!! Thi dvd my sister made me was lost or destroyed in the burglary where my poissessions like family albums and private dvds were discarded as only a vi ndictive burglar can do.But after nearly 4 years my Mum came across a back up.Its a little shorter than the original as the original ends ith a picture of me and my sister on the beach i n what is a treasured picture but im glad its not there cos you guys would only drool over here


#


Anyways iv finally linked my googleplus,youtube,facebook and twitter accounts so from now on evertyhing i do will be quadruple backed up and im gonna start getting to grips with using photobucket and picasa a lot more but this is a video and was easier for me to upload via twoter and youtube.It wells me up each time i see it,maybe seems pussy-esque to the uninitiated but these pictures remind me of a long hard slog of a summer when things were hard and i survived it.A judge awared me full custody and prental rights of my son and not onl that but his Mum lost all rights by not co-operating wth the courts,shes showed she idnt give a shit at the time for whatever reason.Anyways my wee boy has grown a whole lot moe since this dvd,hes 5 now and was just turned 2,if even,back then.Im putting it in this thread fior posterity.Iv found GK is actually a handy storage place,well it is when the gallery is working fully but this will suffice.My sister picked the song but i swear its the lyrics that make this so applicablde to me. for the mushy shit guys but i cangt be prouder of this video.It was at a time where i doubted if i could do the single parent gig and looking back now i see how wel i did but how much my son has grown and not onlky that buyt this dvd was poignant enough buyt when i view it now after whats went down in the past2 years its got even more meaning to me.Im a sentimental fool but to me this DVD is pricelsss.Hey im a mod,im allowed to hog some bandwith now and then:bong2:


[YOUTUBE]IXiapNArrmo[/YOUTUBE]


PS:You guys want a laughFor crimbo i asked my Mum to make me up a scrapbook of old school reports,old diaries and drawings but also all my pictures as a kid cos when i went to live with my dad aged 8 i kinda never saw my childhood pics again.My Mum manged to include my 1st 4 years of 1st dayt school pics,she did side by comparisons oif me and callum,we are uncanny resemblance at times! Anyways i briefly took some shitty pictures of the album and uploaded them to photobucket.It was funny seeing my grandpa with legs cos he had them amuotated.Nice to see all my cousins and unclkes and aunts whoi live in Canada and London now aswell as seeing my dad spoting a moustache hehehe. Cant beat a walk down memory lane.:bong2:


http://s1293.beta.photobucket.com/user/john_steele78/library/?src=pb

 

One single dad to another. You're doing great compadre', Callum's a lucky lad.